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Friday, June 24, 2011

Breakdown Breakthrough

I'm a firm believer that some people just need to breakdown before they can breakthrough. For other's this can drive them insane...they want to help people but they can't til they realize they need their help and are at their bottom. I didn't think I really was near a bottom, didn't see an area where I was completely messed up. Boy was I wrong. Yesterday I broke down. I went to the doctor and stepped on the scale...I hadn't seen that number since pregnancy. Grant it I just had ate lunch and am probably bloated, but still I shouldn't even be close to that. What frustrated me the most is that I tried so hard for the past week to lose weight...I lost 6 pounds but it didn't feel like it at that moment. To make matters worse my Aunt is my nurse so now she knows exactly my weight. She does know though that it was the steroids and stress that got me to where I am, but still it sucks to put it nicely. So needless to say I've watched every drop that's gone in my mouth since then. I've tried something new too, running. I was never a runner, asthma made sure of that. I've learned how to thought with my breathing. Sadly this new love will have to be put on hold for two months come Wednesday when I'm stuck on my butt after my surgery. That's why I have to work really hard to get my nutrition in check that whole time! On top of that the stress of not seeing my daughter alot lately due to her Dad taking her three weeks in a row, financial hardship due to vacation and now surgery with an unexpected phone purchase, I just lost it and unfortunately on my mom. Hopefully this busy weekend will help me get some stress out and be able to keep my mind off everything else. My last weekend working at the hotel too which is a unstressed and a stress. I'm glad to be gone because I'm not a fan of the job at all, but I will miss the money side of it, not like its a ton though! Well please comment, message, fb, twitter, anything and let me know if you need motivation or anything...I like to have friends in this journey!

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